Two MIT nuke theorists are placing bets on their microscopic captives — little guys shrunk down with a NASA shrink ray, duking it out under the watchful 10,000x zoom of the taxpayer funded micro-nanoscope. Winner gets to prop his feet up on the power plant control panel and catch some shut eye for the remainder of the shift, loser has to stay awake and watch Netflix.
From the testing lab to the MENSA luncheon, FAKE TECH is a powerhouse of raw IQ and know-how.Nerds don't play fair, they play dirty; rather than beat your ass with melee moves, a Fake Tech brainiac is likely to distract you with a naked tits hologram before plastering your mitochondria with a cancer beam.
Where would we be without nuanced climate study? How lonely would you feel without the holographic moon hanging overhead? Wouldn't you feel cold if it werent for the nuclear glow? The nearest habitable planet is fake. The death ray is a placebo, still lethal. Dark money is much like dark matter, no one knows where it comes from or what the hell it is. Your probing questions about their funding is both xenophobic and racist. Thanks to the thinking man, thinking is optional.
A 600 year-old jailed cryo-bum is broken out of stasis by his comrades, seconds after waking up he's asking for jenkem and whippets. The reunited squad heads to the latrine to do a bit of heroin and clean up — a long night awaits. Tonight, they take back %LIVING QUARTERS B and C from their oppressors.
Tonight, they fight.
The crew aboard the 2MASX supership is fractured. The longer the ship has been afloat, the fewer and fewer %resourcesresources remain.
The fewer the resources, the more %resourceful resourceful the Bum Legion has become.
They manufacture hard drugs out of shit, piss and cleaning chemicals.They manufacture weapons out of %shit, %piss and %cleaning%chemicals. shit, piss and cleaning chemicals.
The rumblings of revolution can be heard on the lower levels, but the tone is different from that of the engine hum seated nearby. It's an angry, violent hymnal. The despots have less and less to lose with each passing synthetic day-night cycle. More and more middle class crew members are pushed to homelessness as their PodLets are reclaimed for % Dolby Digital surround sound VR movie theaters for the 1%.
The Bum Legion may not be sharp, they may not be capable of doing much besides guerilla activity and smoking cigs...
— but God damn it, they're people too.
“TAXPAYER, are you lost?”
To ward off the inefficiencies of archaic 'checks and balances', F.E.M.A.C.U.B.E.³ was created to reign over the FBI, CIA, NSA, SHNASA, DHS, IRS, Coast Guard, and the President. Dispatch officers are instructed to stamp and approve any initiative that crosses their desk. This is an autocracy.
Their nasty fingers are deeply interlaced in every facet of modern life: there are crisis actors at gas stations, federal agents are paid salary to hang out in chat rooms and monitor VOIP in multiplayer lobbies. Spouses are each paid MEDIAN HUMAN WAGE to spy on each other. Politicians are Trumanned and Mandela effected even if there is no security threat. FEDGOV runs the world, bombs the world, then bombs another planet (they aren't only doing this on Urth).
Terror Wardens are each assigned one TAXPAYER to KEEP IN LINE. Mathematically, this makes F.E.M.A.C.U.B.E.³ the largest employer on the planet. Their power is all encompassing, their tower is high and fortified.
+ Pick up that can.
35 strapping frat jocks huddle in tight formation, passing lite beers to all who lack them. A hush hushed brief swaps lips and the jovial boy toys pop out of their huddle in excitement: the time has come to streak through the championship game.
D.U.D.E. keeps it incredibly chill, they have no opinion on anything except cars and sports and tits. They chug beers and high five and dap up constantly. If you need a smoke or a light — they got you. If you need much else, however...
The Fellas are a loose affiliation, many not even aware they share a faction (they often fight over leftover barwhore snatch). Despite their lack of planning, forethought, intelligence, personal savings, long term goals & ambitions, workforce skills, healthy habits, familial ties, self awareness, spacial awareness, education, purpose and drive — they still got their fat nuts and they love to swing them.
“Wanna see the highlights from the sports game?”